So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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