She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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