Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
