She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
All I want is dick and wine.
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