So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
