Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
