What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
