Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
