Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
