My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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