I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
