It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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