he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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