I seem to have left my pride at pride
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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