One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
