Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
