I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
