K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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