Betty ford says i'm here all night
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
