forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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