ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
