You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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