Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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