Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.