So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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