I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
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he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
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I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye