Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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