Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
