Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
