just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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