areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
nutella sex= disaster
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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