How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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