they need to just BURY HIM!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
