the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
