try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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