after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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