i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
