I met the friendliest cop last night
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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