why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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