So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i dont even know how to be here
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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