Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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