if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize