What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
