at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
