i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
