I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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