Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
