She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
