Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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