We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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