Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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