i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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