she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
