we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
