you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
