non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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