if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
