You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Congratulations! We have a period
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