i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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