So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
