i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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