Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
