think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
