You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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