i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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